40320 minutes

Well Well Well... It's finally gotten down to this. 4 weeks and counting. I feel invigorated. I feel refreshed! I feel on top of the world. "I'm the King of the World!", hand on there Leonardo we're just getting started. Anyway I feel......Here it is 3 days before Halloween and I am getting into full Black Friday form!! Could it be the sugar buzz from the bag of Snickers that I just found? I can't say. No really I can't say, my mouth is full of Snickers!

This is the time when the good try to get better and the better try to get best. YT has begun the annual training program. Each year it gets trickier and trickier to work yourself into tip top shape. I mean how do you prepare to stay up all night to shop at stores that you will be at 6 more times before Christmas? The toll on the human body is frightening! I have seen some of the best BF'ers in the world crumble like Aunt Jenny's dinner rolls after 25 minutes in the oven! I have seen adults behave like petulant 2 year old's. I've seen screaming and fighting and chaos and that's just in my house on a Saturday! I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would end ... hey wait a minute! too much time listening to the Muzak at Menard's! More on that later......

I have my own patented training method. It may sound a little different but it seems to work for me. Just yesterday I spent 20 minutes yelling "Kenzie...Kenzie.. where the hell is Kenzie? Jesus H Christ can't she stay found for 5 GD minutes?" Boy that felt good! My doctor says I need to yell more. I am hoping that I can get in screaming shape by the 21st.

Then I found a cold hard piece of concrete outside and sat there for almost an hour practicing waiting for the Mall Gift Bag. Let me tell you folks that can give you buns of steel or at least frozen buns. Why you might say "Hey knuckle head, it's just another tote bag that will hang i the garage for 3 years until you throw it out!", I say "remember 2010". Remember the $50 gift card. Remember ... oh hell I already forgot.


Next I went to Menard's and stood outside in the cold for 2 hours just to get a feel for the place. Man I hope that those batteries are worth it! By the way, the music that they play over the PA System at Menard's is really mesmerizing! I really love it. Lots of smooth jazz! Just as an aside... Did you know that "You always save Big Money at Menard's"?

I cruised by the Walgreen's to see how the traffic flow was. Man there is a special place in the depths of hell for the person who designed the parking lots at Walgreen's. You can get in.... but just try to get out! It's worse than a ":roach motel". The customers check in but they ....No sign yet of any Blue Ray players being shipped in.... Must be too early. I did see a semi truck pulling in with batteries, lots and lots of batteries.

YT is very concerned that this could be the year that the machines take over the world. I guess that that might take lots and lots of batteries. LOTS and LOTS of BATTERIES!

Then I stood outside the WalMart just because I could. Shockingly, I was not alone. There were at least 50 other people waiting in line for the 32" flat panel TV that was going on sale in only 2,419,200 seconds. 25 people were waiting for the $300.00 laptop and 17 people told me that they "always stand outside the WalMart". There was a Semi Trailer loaded with batteries in the loading dock but no sign of any of the $19 inkjet printers. I don't know is this means anything but the line outside the Target was only about half as long.

Did you know that "You always save Big Money at Menard's"?

On to the Mall. I scoped out the Sears Parking lot . It was empty as usual. Except of course for the weird couple in the red pick up truck who are always there. I asked them if they were getting in line for the big Black Friday sales event. They tasked me "What's a Fry Day?". I noticed that there was a semi truck in the loading dock of the Radio Shack. They were unloading Batteries.

LOTS and LOTS of batteries!

There was a tent city outside the Best Buy that I thought was part of some protest about Wall Street. I talked to a few of the happy campers and found out that "Best Buy has some really smokin' deals bro!". 360 Craig told me he wanted to be the first in line to get the new I-Phone 4 for only $499.00. I didn't have the heart......... Oh and there was a semi trailer in the loading dock. It was full of batteries.

LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of batteries...........

More news as it get made up!
Cheers,
UB

Did you know that "You always save Big Money at Menard's"?