A separate attempt

Black Friday Update

Apparently news of Darcy Barron's return the IV BF scene has spurred on radical action by Left Coast Retailers! I a surprising but not totally unexpected move, a Russian emigre cab driver was allegedly hired by the So Cal Chamber of Commerce to prevent Darcy from making a triumphal return to the IV for the T-Day festivities. Ms. Barron was in her own words, "shaken not stirred" when her 2011 Benz C class was rammed by a taxi driven by former KGB operative Boris Lipoff outside a swank SD boutique.

Lipoff, who has ties to the Russian Mafia is being held without bond at the SDPD lock up. A cocktail napkin from the Summer House in Lahoya was found in the drivers pocket. The number to a local Sears Outlet was found on the napkin. Sears has no comment at this time. The So Cal Chamber of Commerce has repeatedly denied any connection with Lipoff.

Ms Barron is in great shape (as usual) and was seen shopping at the UCSD campus bookstore later in the day. She has told us privately that she is not surprised by the attempt, merely annoyed by the apparent lack of planning. "Any idiot with a lick of sense knows that the mass of the mass of the taxi was insufficient to create enough kinetic energy to displace the angular motion of my car. I mean really a third grader knows that! Angular motion people Angular motion!"

The Department of Homeland Security had "no comment" when asked about the possible terrorist implications. The IV CofC was "shocked and outraged" by the "obvious attempt to injure one of our biggest retail resources." Yours truly was not surprised by the attempt. Only the clumsiness of it. You don't send your chickens to eagle school and you don't send a cabbie when you go hunting for big game!

UB