The Phantom Menance

October 17 2011

Well Well Well! The alleged Ace Hardware BF ad is out. Let me tell you this.I believe that it is a trick! YT has been able to trace the source of the leaked ad to a printing company dumpster in Wisconsin Rapids Wisconsin. The D Diver that retrieved the "ad" is the 2nd cousin twice removed of the stock boy at the Peru Menard's. While on the surface this may seem innocent, YT has heard a rumor that Menard's is tied into this "release". The dead giveaway is the fact that for the last 7 years, there have always been "Door Busters" and "batteries" on the Ace Hardware BF Ad. This ad scam has neither. YT believes that the deception is a plot by Meenard's to decrease the number of shoppers, at Debo Hardware, this year to 12, from last years 3 year high of 15 shoppers on a Black Friday. I am not sure how the phony BF ad ties into this diabolical plot but, I smell a rat. We all know how good that I smell.

Also missing from the ad is their traditional crawl through tunnel for kids. This has been a featured item ever since Christ was a Kid. In fact in Mathew 2:2 verses 1-2 it says. "At that time Mary and Joseph went to Debo's Hardware and found that they were closed. They came back the next day at 7:30 AM and bought the traditional kids tunnel snake for Chanukah. When Jesus saw this he was very happy and crawled and smiled." The fact that some of the prices of some of the goods is higher than the same product from last year tells me the if we look hard enough we will find the hand of Menard's. YT has been one of those 10-12 shoppers at Debo in the past few years. This year ... well.... we will see won't we?

Menard's corporate in Appleton WI, would not comment when asked about the incident. Menard's did however let YT know that they will have "Door Busters" and "batteries" available on BF. Menard's also has let it slip that they are actually open before the Debo Ace Hardware in Peru IL, and they are open later. Ouch Babe!!!!

On the national scene, Kelly R Barron was spotted coming out of the Gibson Guitar Company in Memphis TN. There is a longstanding rumor that KRB is working on a BF Deal with the guitar maker. Kelly "Flat Belly" Barron has long been associated with "Martin" guitars. Could a change in that relationship be in the offing? Standby for news on this one.

High Altitude training continues for Darcy "Dark Matter" Barron. Initially we were puzzled by the training move since most of her shopping is at sea level. A week-end conversation with my Chicago source leads me to believe that Dark Matter is looking to scale the Water Tower Place on Michigan Ave in Chicago for the Hammacher Schlemmer, BF event. The HS store is on the 3rd floor the the WTP. This sounds risky to me, but Dark Matter is a seasoned climber and a veteran shopper. DRB has her eye on the "5inch reflecting telescope" DB at HS. When it comes to shopping and DRB,I say "It's the Door Busters that should be afraid!"

Famed Wheel Man, Mark "the Spark" Barron is contemplating a return to the competitive BF scene. Mark best known for his ultra high speed electric Toyota has been more "target specific" in his shopping. Once the wheel man for the elite "Barron Gang", he left when it got too lame in 209. He has never really looked to return until this year. "Spark" is looking for low volume high risk runs this year. YT saw that Spark was out measuring the slope of the parking lot at the Peru Mall. Perhaps he saw one of our recent posts on said parking lot. Sparks steady hand and calm nerve has been missing from the IV/BF scene. Hopefully this means a bit more excitement. I hope so.......

More news as I make it up!!!!!
Cheers
Danny Muldoon